The years that ask questions; the years that answer

Hoping that 32 is an answer year

Feeling My Shelf is a newsletter about books, life, and, well, life with books. Grab your favorite caffeinated beverage and get comfy. First up, some recent reads.

No Ordinary Love by Myah Ariel

I really enjoyed Myah Ariel’s first novel, When I Think of You, so naturally, when I heard about her second, I knew it was a must-read. Ella Simone is a pop star reeling from a very public divorce and a prenup that threatens everything she’s worked for, when she finds herself in a compromising position with Miles, a pro-baseball player with demons of his own. What starts as a PR relationship to rehab both of their images quickly gets sticky thanks to the undeniable chemistry between them. A fun read if you’re into celeb romances.

History Lessons by Zoe B. Wallbrook

Ahh, this book scratched a part of my brain that only a few novels have. It follows a zany, sharp-witted college history professor. She suddenly finds herself at the center of a campus scandal when her (ahem, douche bag) colleague turns up dead. When all signs point to her being the next target, she dives headfirst into a trail of clues to solve the murder. The mix of dark humor and historical bits had me hooked.

Sounds Like Love by Ashley Poston

Ashley Poston takes the whole “can’t get this song out of my head” thing to a new level in her latest magical romance. Joni is a songwriter with writer’s block (relatable), who returns to her coastal hometown to reset. But then, she starts hearing a melody in her head along with the voice of a moody, musically-inclined man. No, he’s not a ghost, and yes, she does eventually meet him. Although he’s not at all what she expected. But their strange connection (it’s got layers!) proves to be just the thing Joni needs to write her next hit. And you know, get through some other deep life stuff. Like, this is an Ashley Poston novel after all. (If you’ve read The Dead Romantics, The Seven Year Slip, and/or A Novel Love Story, then you know what I mean.) Keep tissue nearby.

In Their Eyes Were Watching God, Zora Neale Hurston wrote that “there are years that ask questions and years that answer.”

I (shockingly) never gave those words much thought until yesterday, when I turned 32. It was a great, low-key day that started with a birthday matcha(!) and included a few of my favorite things: a trip to AMC, tacos, and tequila shots.

Chapter 31 was...not great. My disappearing acts and struggles with giving myself grace, for starters. There were bright spots, of course, but mostly challenges, frustrating conversations, and a few “is this really my life?” self-talks.

But yesterday reminded me of turning 22. On that birthday, I remember feeling nervous about the future but also buzzing with excitement. The very next day (this exact day ten years ago!) I moved to New York City from Louisiana for my first job at Health Magazine. After dragging two suitcases overstuffed with clothes, books, and dreams through LaGuardia, I got in a taxi and headed to my new Brooklyn apartment to live with a young woman I’d met at an internship the summer before.

me at 22 vs me at 32

Today, I’m lying on a mauve couch in my Los Angeles apartment writing this letter, funny enough, just days away from being a bridesmaid in that same woman’s wedding. And once again, I feel that same mix of nerves and hope. Like, good things are coming (ahem, career developments and creative momentum), even if I’m not entirely sure where the story is going yet.

If the past few years have taught me anything, it’s that (of course) Zora was right. Some seasons pull everything apart so you can see what needs tending, and others let things finally settle into place.

22 was an answer year.
Here’s hoping 32 is too.

Everyone has birthday traditions, and here are a few of mine.

1. Buying a book. Of course, this is the first thing I do every year. This year, I pre-ordered Year of Yes: 10th Anniversary Edition by Shonda Rhimes, which includes seven new chapters. Very excited to (re)read.

2. Dancing! In my bathroom mirror. On my way to collect a birthday freebie from Sephora. While taking my third tequila shot. I don’t even care if there’s no music playing.

3. Making a playlist. Speaking of music, I make a yearly playlist with a mix of introspective and upbeat songs. A mix of genres, newly released, and old favorites. Anything that speaks to the chapter of life I’m entering.

4. Writing a letter to future me. Filled with my hopes and dreams for the next year. Spoiler alert: I hope year 32 finally takes me on that international solo trip I’ve been dreaming of. I prefer to write my letter by hand, but you could type and schedule a letter to yourself via email on a site like this one.

I’m currently about 50 pages into The Wilderness by Angela Flournoy, which was recommended to me by Erin Ashley. It follows “five Black women over the course of their twenty-year friendship, as they move through the dizzying and sometimes precarious period between young adulthood and midlife.”

How to write a sex scene according to Exit Lane author Erika Veurink. Twilight Is 20. These books will remind you why you loved it so much. Why do we get so attached to fictional characters? The Waterbearers author Sasha Bonét on the perceptions thrust upon a Black girl’s body. And ICYMI: Baby-Sitters CIub to be adapted as a stage musical.

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