In Their Eyes Were Watching God, Zora Neale Hurston wrote that “there are years that ask questions and years that answer.”
I (shockingly) never gave those words much thought until yesterday, when I turned 32. It was a great, low-key day that started with a birthday matcha(!) and included a few of my favorite things: a trip to AMC, tacos, and tequila shots.
Chapter 31 was...not great. My disappearing acts and struggles with giving myself grace, for starters. There were bright spots, of course, but mostly challenges, frustrating conversations, and a few “is this really my life?” self-talks.
But yesterday reminded me of turning 22. On that birthday, I remember feeling nervous about the future but also buzzing with excitement. The very next day (this exact day ten years ago!) I moved to New York City from Louisiana for my first job at Health Magazine. After dragging two suitcases overstuffed with clothes, books, and dreams through LaGuardia, I got in a taxi and headed to my new Brooklyn apartment to live with a young woman I’d met at an internship the summer before.
Today, I’m lying on a mauve couch in my Los Angeles apartment writing this letter, funny enough, just days away from being a bridesmaid in that same woman’s wedding. And once again, I feel that same mix of nerves and hope. Like, good things are coming (ahem, career developments and creative momentum), even if I’m not entirely sure where the story is going yet.
If the past few years have taught me anything, it’s that (of course) Zora was right. Some seasons pull everything apart so you can see what needs tending, and others let things finally settle into place.
22 was an answer year.
Here’s hoping 32 is too.
Everyone has birthday traditions, and here are a few of mine.
Buying a book. Of course, this is the first thing I do every year. This year, I pre-ordered Year of Yes: 10th Anniversary Edition by Shonda Rhimes, which includes seven new chapters. Very excited to (re)read.
Dancing! In my bathroom mirror. On my way to collect a birthday freebie from Sephora. While taking my third tequila shot. I don’t even care if there’s no music playing.
Making a playlist. Speaking of music, I make a yearly playlist with a mix of introspective and upbeat songs. A mix of genres, newly released, and old favorites. Anything that speaks to the chapter of life I’m entering.
Writing a letter to future me. Filled with my hopes and dreams for the next year. Spoiler alert: I hope year 32 finally takes me on that international solo trip I’ve been dreaming of. I prefer to write my letter by hand, but you could type and schedule to send a letter to yourself via email or a site like this one.
Now for my birthday wish: help me start 32 off right! Drop a book rec, an activity I should try, or something else that’s been making you feel alive lately in the comments.
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