I'm in my 30s, but my favorite characters are still 17

Chapter #42: Turns out teenage feelings are still deeply relatable.

Feeling My Shelf is a newsletter about books, life, and, well, life with books. Grab your favorite caffeinated beverage and get comfy. First up, some recent reads.

The Dream Hotel by Laila Lalami
If you knew about a crime before it happened, would you do everything you could to stop it? That’s the question at the center of this trippy novel about one woman’s fight for freedom. In a not-so-distant dystopian future where even dreams are under surveillance, scientist Sara is detained at LAX when a government-sanctioned algorithm flags her as a threat to her husband. Thrust into a dehumanizing detention system, Sara must fight to preserve her identity and regain freedom. It’s a thought-provoking and unsettling look at how easily tech can be weaponized.

The Love Simulation by Etta Easton
When the school budget gets rerouted from books to football, Vice Principal Brianna joins a summer Mars simulation to win the funds back, only to get stuck with Roman, the principal’s very handsome son, and a science teacher who drives her wild. You can already guess what happens next. Banter? Top tier. Their chemistry? Off the charts. Etta Easton is now officially on my auto-buy list!

Francine's Spectacular Crash and Burn by Renee Swindle
After the death of her mother, Francine is barely holding it together when she “rescues” 10-year-old Davie from the neighborhood bullies. From that day on, Davie continues to show up on her doorstep, sharing random tidbits about Steve Jobs and Pixar. Francine soon learns that he’s in foster care, with his foster mom being her high-school classmate/crush. What follows is a messy journey of bad decisions, self-sabotage, and growth. Francine is frustratingly naive and kind to a fault, but you’ll be rooting for her the whole time.

I’m 31 (and a half!) and am still frequently told that I look like 19. It’s slightly annoying because you couldn’t pay me to be that age again! But looking slightly younger does come in handy when browsing the Young Adult (YA) section of a bookstore. An area I admittedly spend a lot of time in.

I can’t exactly remember the first YA novel that I read, but I do remember the one that changed my life. Jason & Kyra by Dana Davidson. Are you even surprised that it’s a romance?

It was the first time that I saw two Black teens fall for each other in a way that felt real. Jason was the star basketball player; Kyra was a bookish nerd. They weren’t supposed to fall for each other. Not by high school standards, anyway. But brought together by a class project, they slowly let their guards down and built something genuine. While yes, the normal teenage drama happened, it wasn’t super messy or chaotic. (Ahem, the complete opposite of Euphoria.) Reading Jason & Kyra showed me that romance didn’t have to be dramatic or over-the-top to be meaningful. It could be quiet. Intentional.

From there, my love of YA romance blossomed (and has only grown stronger.) I love reading about characters who are hopeful and still figuring things out. They still believe in true love and second chances. The stakes feel big but not soul-crushing. Less overthinking and way more heart.

Back then, I was a shy teen desperately craving stories about connection. I didn’t know how exactly to describe it, but I was drawn to the quiet intimacy of people choosing each other in a world that doesn’t always make that easy. In my thirties, I still am.

These books still feel deeply relatable, sometimes painfully so. Sure, as an adult, it’s less about who’s sitting with who at lunch and more about who shows up for you when life gets hard. Less about passing love notes in class, more about learning to communicate through fear and past hurt. But the questions remain: Will they choose me? Can I trust them? Do I even trust myself?

That’s why I was so excited when I learned that Mara Brock Akil, the creator of Girlfriends (a favorite of mine!), was reimagining Judy Blume’s Forever for Netflix. The series follows teens Keisha (Lovie Simone) and Justin (Michael Cooper Jr.) as they navigate the complexities of first love in Los Angeles.

As I write this newsletter, I’ve yet to press play on the series. Not because I don’t desperately want to, but because I’m hours away from seeing Beyoncé, and a girl can only handle so much emotion in one day. Gotta save some joy for the weekend. Nonetheless, I already know that I’m going to love it.

I’m 1000% over dating apps. OVER THEM. The endless swiping and men proudly telling me that they haven’t read a book since fourth grade (yes, that actually happened, and yes, I was immediately turned off). YA is my soft place to land when adulthood gets to be too much. An escape back to that carefree time when love was pure, and life was full of possibility.

So yeah, never giving it up!

I’m also a huge fan of teen thrillers/mysteries, but for the sake of staying on topic, we’ll just focus on the love stories I’m excited to read over the next few months.

• Audre & Bash Are Just Friends by Tia Williams follows two teens who “can't forget they're just friends.” (If you’ve read Seven Days in June, you might remember Audre.)

• The Education of Kia Greer by Alanna Bennett, the “story of a teen girl who longs to escape the spotlight, and the PR relationship that helps her find real happiness.”

• Heartsick by Kristina Forest, “a sweet and fast-paced contemporary teen romance” about a heartbroken teen and her ex-boyfriend who team up to expose the secret behind a heartbreak-erasing pill, while discovering their love may not be over after all.

• Love on Paper by Danielle Parker, where “an ambitious teen novelist must play nice with her talented—and annoyingly handsome—rival at an exclusive writers’ retreat.”

Harlem Rhapsody by Victoria Christopher Murray, the extraordinary story of the woman who ignited the Harlem Renaissance. I’m only about 30 pages in, and already ready to shake Jessie, a writer who becomes the literary editor at The Crisis, the NAACP's magazine. Oh yeah, and who’s also romantically entangled with (the very married) W.E.B. Du Bois.

I’ve been reading a lot of new Substacks lately! Some of my favorite posts have been “American Girl Magazine Summer” from Larisa, “It Must Be Nice to Experience New York Without Investing in It” from Shelbi Jones, “The Worst Things You Can Say to a Romance Writer” from Alyssa Jarrett, “My Writing, Working & Workout Routine as a Novelist with a Full-Time PR Career” from Kristen L. Berry (which inspired me to make my own time-blocked schedule!), and “A Director's Shot List For Democracy” from Ava DuVernay.

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