Chapter #12: Talk Wordy to Me

When you love romance novels but are really bad at flirting…

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I suck at flirting. There, I said it.

Very surprising, given how much I love all things romance. But true, nonetheless. In my head, I’m cool, calm, and collected. But in reality, I’m a jumbled, sweaty mess anytime I try to say anything beyond “hi” to any guy I find remotely attractive.

All I think can think about is did I pronounce that word right? Am I speaking loud enough? Okay, his eyes going wide tell me that I’m probably shouting. Or maybe my voice is shaking. No not the puns, Alexis. Or jokes. You’re smiling like a serial killer. Wait, what am I doing with my hands? Now, I’m thinking about his hands, and all the places they could be—okay we’re getting sidetracked. No. No. No. What kind of laugh was that, Alexis? STOP. Walk away now!

Nobody has time for that. Hence my faithful dedication to the romance genre. Books give me a peek into the fun that comes with flirting, without me actually having to do any of the work myself. Although, I’ve written previously about how these same books may be the force behind my lofty expectations and lackluster flirting skills.

*Shrugs* It’s a problem for my therapist to help solve on another day. I mean, I can’t be good at everything. In the meantime, I’ll keep my nose buried in smutty paperbacks, and pray for a meet cute at a bookstore.  

Here are some of my favorite romances featuring awkward, also bad at flirting, and/or sometimes emotionally unavailable main characters.

Instructions For Dancing by Nicola Yoon

Follows a teenager who no longer believes in love and mysteriously gains the supernatural ability to see the future of others’ romances following an interesting encounter at a Little Free Library.

How to Fail at Flirting by Denise Williams

A type-a professor with a non-existent social life gets talked into knocking items off a “bucket list” of sorts. Soon helping her out is a witty stranger she meets at a bar.

The Right Swipe by Alisha Rai

A workaholic dating app creator with strict rules around love crosses paths with a business rival that wooed her one night and then ghosted her.

Thank You, Next by Andie J. Christopher

“Always the fling, never the ring.” A woman who is always the last one an ex dates before finding love and walking down the aisle sets out to find out why.

Dating Dr. Dil by Nisha Sharma

This Taming of the Shrew retelling features a love-averse TV doctor, a love-obsessed homebody, and a gaggle of meddling aunties.

Happily Ever Afters by Elise Bryant

Follows a romance novel-obsessed teen on a quest to find her own happily ever after. Sounds like someone I know.

Waiting For Tom Hanks by Kerry Winfrey

Another rom-com fanatic who dreams of being the next Nora Ephron and spends her days waiting for the perfect “meet cute” to happen. 

I’m not a huge fan of historical romance, but I can say that I’m enjoying The Davenports by Krystale Marquis so far. Set in 1910 Chicago, it follows a wealthy Black family—the Davenports and their four daughters—as they navigate life and love. Next up on my list: Maame by Jessica George and Highly Suspicious and Unfairly Cute by Talia Hibbert.

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