Feeling My Shelf is a newsletter about books, life, and, well, life with books. Grab your favorite caffeinated beverage and get comfy. First up, some recent reads.

If I Ruled the World: A Novel by Amy DuBois Barnett
As a Black woman who grew up surrounded by glossy magazines with dreams of living in New York City and seeing her name on the masthead, this book was made for me. Which is why it’s not surprising that I pre-ordered and immediately devoured this book within two days of its arrival. It’s a smart, sexy, messy debut that “peeks behind the curtain at the cutthroat world of hip-hop music and the glamorous magazine scene in the late 1990s.”

Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes
A long-time favorite of mine with an update! Ten years ago, the Queen of Primetime Television blessed us with this memoir of sorts, chronicling her journey of saying yes to all of the things that scared her and pulled her out of her comfort zone: public speaking, working out, and acting, among others. There are some new, fun chapters in this, but the voice and message to introverts everywhere remains the same: good things always come from dancing it out, stepping out into the sun, and being your own person.

Boom Town by Nic Stone
A book marketed as a cross between Gone Girl and P-Valley? A must-read that centers on “two missing erotic dancers from Atlanta’s most notorious gentlemen's club and the woman committed to finding them.” I can’t decide if the pacing was slow or if I was just impatient and greedy. I breezed through the chapters, desperate to know what happened. I had some strong guesses based on the comps, but still found the moment that everything clicked into place to be super satisfying. But be warned: the characters make such bad choices over and over that you’ll want to jump into the book and shake them.

There was only one place you could find me on Thursday nights back in 2015—in front of the TV.

Like many others, I was waiting to see what dark and twisty situations Meredith would find herself in on Grey’s Anatomy (even though I was more of a Cristina girl) or whose problems Olivia Pope would handle next on Scandal. So, it’s no surprise that the minute Shonda Rhimes’ book Year of Yes hit shelves, I was first in line to grab a copy.

The critically acclaimed writer and producer found herself confronted with the sharp truth just a few years before penning the book: “You never say yes to anything,” her sister Delorse said. Those six words became the wake-up call that fueled Shonda’s year-long “yes” project. A former wallflower, she conquered her fears of everything from giving commencement speeches to simply accepting compliments.

A fellow wallflower at the time, I related deeply to Shonda’s blend-in-the-background vibe. But similarly, I’d started to become uncomfortable in my own comfort zone, wondering what it’d be like to take some leaps too. It was around that time that I moved to New York City. I had two suitcases filled with my belongings and the biggest of dreams.

Since I was 13, all I wanted was to work at a major magazine and to see my name in print. And when I finally made it all happen, my family, friends, and hell, even my hometown, were proud. I, on the other hand, quickly started to feel different. Magazine life wasn’t at all what I expected it to be.

And just a few short years after that, I had my own extreme “year of yes”—quitting my job and moving across the country in search of something that would reignite my creative spark. No job. No apartment. No real plan. Just a risky “yes” to big dreams and California vibes. Good times.

For a while, I was content, but that nagging feeling that something was off returned over the last couple of years, and everything came crashing down on me last year when I got laid off.

I again felt lost. Ashamed. Uncomfortable. Ready to run and thinking that I, once again, needed to completely overhaul my life.

I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching, and re-reading this book more than 10 years later felt like a long-overdue check-in with a longtime mentor. We’re both older and wiser. Now, we are in completely different places in our lives than when we first met. It was easy to reconnect and fall back on old wisdom, but there was also a new lesson to be learned.

In this case, yeses don’t always have to be big and drastic. Like a cross-country move. Some yeses can be quiet revolutions.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t regret taking those big leaps that followed my first reading of Year of Yes. They pushed me and put me on a path that’s allowed me to slowly peel back the curtain on the person I’ve always wanted to show the world. For that, I’m forever grateful. But I like the person I am now, and even though I’m still feeling a bit lost, I don’t want to completely start over.

Instead, I want to pivot.

To lean more into the things I love, the things that bring a little more whimsy to my life, and that make me feel full instead of drained.

Now, that’s a really long-winded way of saying I’ve officially ditched my usual goal-setting method this year, in favor of simple intentions. Small, but mighty-yeses. For the sake of time, I won’t share them all, but here are a few of my more bookish ones for 2026.

📖 Say yes to a simple reading goal: 10K pages
For the first time in a long time, I don’t want to read a certain number of books. In recent years, doing so has felt stifling and pressurized to pick up buzzy titles I had no interest in actually reading to stay on track. Now, I’m just going to read when the spirit moves me, and we’ll see when and if that equals 10,000 pages.

🧡 Say yes to reading through Kennedy Ryan’s backlist
I love all of the books in her Skyland series, so I figured that it’d be fun to check out the rest of her titles. If you’ve read any, where should I start?

🍪 Say yes to staining my cookbooks
These books aren’t fine china or rare jewels. They’re meant to be used and loved and spilled into as I try out new recipe after new recipe. So that’s what I intend to do.

✈️ Say yes to seeing some more (book) worlds
I love a book conference. I love a new bookstore. I want to go to more of both outside of Los Angeles. And California. And even out of the U.S., especially out of the U.S.

✏️ And finally, say yes to writing the book that I want to write
I’ve been trying to finish my contemporary romance novel for the last nearly three years, and this is finally(!) the year we query her. How? By releasing myself from the pressure to write a book like this one or that one or that so and so would like. I don’t have an agent or a book deal, so right now, what an imaginary publisher or reader wants is none of my concern. This book is for me.

All The Men I’ve Loved Again by Christine Pride. This one’s been on my shelf for a minute. Now that it’s (basically) February and I’m in the mood for romance, I’m cracking it open. It’s about “a woman who finds herself in the impossible situation of being in love with the same two men who won her heart in her early twenties again as she nears forty.”

• I don’t even want to tell you how many times I’ve watched Netflix’s People We Meet on Vacation. I absolutely loved this Emily Henry adaptation, though the consensus on the internet seems to be that the book was better. (Isn’t it always?) I had the luxury of not having read the book before, so going in totally blind allowed me to fully enjoy the movie simply for the quirky, cheesy (ugh, that line about “casual sax” had me cracking up) rom-com that it is. But don’t fret, readers, I recently bought the book, so I’ll be comparing the two soon.

• I’ve also finished Season 4, part 1 of Bridgerton, and can definitely say that Season 2 is still my favorite. I love a good Cinderella story, but Benedict, come on, man! So you can paint the girl from memory perfectly, but have forgotten what her voice sounds like? Ugh. I want Anthony and Kate!

• Help I’ve fallen victim to the Brick craze and can’t don’t want to get up. If you’re unfamiliar, it’s a little productivity device that blocks distractions on your phone with a quick little tap. Sure, I could just put my phone on DND. But I’m enjoying “bricking” it while I read.

• Speaking of writing my novel…I recently returned from the concrete tundra known as New York in January, following an amazing writing retreat hosted by Generation Women. As a California transplant, I was semi-underprepared for the snow, but was more than happy to stay inside and get over 10,000 words of my novel’s third (and final before it goes to beta readers!) draft written. I also got to gush about my love for Michael B. Jordan in a room full of captive (and very funny and friendly) writers and learned a lot about squatters, scammers, and cannibalism. Don’t ask.

  

Here’s how to help people affected by the ongoing ICE raids. Is a stairwell the hottest place for a hookup? TV says yes. In Wonder Man (a very fantastic show, btw!) Yahya Abdul-Mateen II perfectly captures the anxiety of excellence. How to be a more resilient person, according to therapists.

Thanks for reading (typos, misplaced commas, and all)! If you’d like to (further) support this newsletter, forward this email to a friend who likes books with a recommendation to subscribe!

Set during Accra, Ghana’s vibrant Detty December celebrations, The Full Picture is an amazing debut that follows Robyn Carter, a college student navigating grief, family expectations, and the (often messy!) journey that is coming of age on her first trip back to the country since her mother’s death.

Listen, I had so much fun reading this book! I laughed, teared up more than once, wanted to strangle some characters, and quickly fell in love with others. *Ahem, Osei.*

Below, author Jessica Carmichael details her experience as a debut author, exploring identity through the eyes of a Ghanaian-Bajan Canadian teen, and bringing Detty December to life in fiction.

Jessica, tell us a little about yourself! What would we find on the back flap of a dust jacket?

I’m an Edmonton-based young adult author who loves writing coming-of-age stories for Black youth, both in and outside of the diaspora. While I’m an award-winning sports journalist, The Full Picture is my first novel. I was born and raised in the ‘city just above Toronto,’ and I’m the kind of person who loves a good time and an even better book.

Describe your book in three words.
Exhilarating. Warm. Wholehearted.

What was the ‘aha!’ moment or little seed that planted this story idea in your mind?

My aha moment was in January 2020 after my first trip to Ghana in 2019. It was the Year of Return, and I had the time of my life reuniting with my family, falling for cute boys, and going to music festivals (I know, sounds familiar 👀). When the world shut down for COVID, I was reading His Only Wife by Peace Adzo Medie and felt like I was back in Ghana. I wanted to recreate that experience through my own writing, but especially for young adults, and that’s when I started drafting The Full Picture!

If your book had a theme song, what would it be? And which character’s playlist would it definitely be on?

This is a hard one, but I’d say either “Live from the 233” by Kwesi Arthur or “Feels” by my good friend Boyd. They’re both talented Ghanaian artists, and they’d be on Robyn’s playlist. “Live from the 233” captures that feeling when you touch down in Accra, and you know you’re about to hit the town! “Feels,” on the other hand, has a line that says, “I ain’t got no business catching feelings with you,” which perfectly sums up what Robyn is going through in the book.

The Full Picture explores identity from the perspective of Robyn, a young Black woman navigating the diaspora. How do you hope readers who share that experience will feel seen or challenged by the story?

I think that when you’re part of the diaspora, and you go back home for the first time, there can be so many complex feelings, and we don’t often get to see those stories explored in traditional media. We’ve all seen movies and books about the girl who studies abroad in London or Paris, but what is it like to go back to Accra or Lagos? I want readers who look like me to feel like someone wrote this story just for them, and if not them, someone they know. I also write for those who are still learning to love every part of who they are, even when it feels like the world is trying to box them in. I want them to know that they are a beautiful combination of every part of their identity, and their stories deserve to be told.

Detty December radiates such a specific and electric energy on the page. What made you want to capture that in fiction, and what felt important for you to get right about it?

When you experience something as electric as Detty December, it’s hard not to want to recreate it. You want to put it in a bottle, share it with the world, and make everyone feel that energy. I remember coming back and telling all my Jamaican girlfriends that they just had to go! It’s obviously a fun time, but it’s also a time to connect to your roots if you’re part of the Black diaspora. Visiting Ghana, especially Cape Coast, where “The Door of No Return” is, is something I encourage all of us to do.

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Are you more of a plotter or a pantser when it comes to writing?
I started as a pantser, and several drafts of nonsense later, I knew I had to become a plotter. Now, sitting down and writing out the three-act structure is one of my favourite things to do.

What was the very first scene you wrote for The Full Picture, and did it end up making it into the final version?

The first scene I wrote was actually Robyn in her dorm room with her best friend, Chelsea, just about to leave for Ghana. It didn’t make it into the final version because I had received a lot of feedback that the book wasn’t starting in the right place. Now, the book begins with her about to land in Accra, heavily contemplating her decision to come on the trip, and it is, without a doubt, the stronger opener.

What’s your ideal writing setup? Do you have any rituals that help you get in the zone?
For my everyday, more creative writing, it’s probably bad, but I love writing from bed. When it’s time for full-on editing, cleaning up, or meeting a deadline, my desk is my best friend. On those days, I take Vyvanse to help with my ADHD, and I’m locked in until I hit my writing goal.

What surprised you most about the debut experience, either in writing the book or bringing it into the world?
I think what surprised me most is how much publicity is really needed. Whether you go the traditional route or the self-publishing route, you have to put a lot of yourself out there, and that can be tough. There were many days I didn’t want to show up, but I know that even if just one person discovers my story, that’s one more person who could read it—and that makes it worth it.

If you could go back to the earliest version of yourself working on this novel, what would you tell her?

I would tell her that the version she’s writing is just the beginning. I would tell her that she doesn’t know everything yet, and that’s beautiful, because beginnings are beautiful. I’d remind her to be open to feedback and change, and that she’ll be so grateful for the end result. Oh, and don’t compare your journey to others!!!

Your shelves—organized by color, genre, or author? Always by color. I may not be able to find a book, but it makes me feel good when I walk past it. [Note from Alexis: Same!]

A book on your shelf that means the most to you: His Only Wife by Peace Adzo Medie

A book you believe everyone should have on their shelf: The Full Picture by Jessica Carmichael

A book on your shelf you wish you could read for the first time again: How to Say Babylon by Safiya Sinclair

A book on your shelf that you’d be excited to see adapted into a movie: Honey and Spice by Bolu Babalola (Luckily, we’ll be getting that very soon!)

Quirky or unusual items on your shelf alongside your books: My book embosser. I stamp each book with an imprint that says “From the Shelf of Jessica Carmichael.”

Here’s where to find and support Jessica’s work:

• Check out Jessica’s website: byjessicacarmichael.com

• Subscribe to her newsletter: Gist with Jess

• Follow Jessica on Instagram @jaaycarmichael and TikTok @jaaycarmichael

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Feeling My Shelf is a newsletter about books, life, and, well, life with books. Grab your favorite caffeinated beverage and get comfy. First up, some recent reads.

No Ordinary Love by Myah Ariel

I really enjoyed Myah Ariel’s first novel, When I Think of You, so naturally, when I heard about her second, I knew it was a must-read. Ella Simone is a pop star reeling from a very public divorce and a prenup that threatens everything she’s worked for, when she finds herself in a compromising position with Miles, a pro-baseball player with demons of his own. What starts as a PR relationship to rehab both of their images quickly gets sticky thanks to the undeniable chemistry between them. A fun read if you’re into celeb romances.

History Lessons by Zoe B. Wallbrook

Ahh, this book scratched a part of my brain that only a few novels have. It follows a zany, sharp-witted college history professor. She suddenly finds herself at the center of a campus scandal when her (ahem, douche bag) colleague turns up dead. When all signs point to her being the next target, she dives headfirst into a trail of clues to solve the murder. The mix of dark humor and historical bits had me hooked.

Sounds Like Love by Ashley Poston

Ashley Poston takes the whole “can’t get this song out of my head” thing to a new level in her latest magical romance. Joni is a songwriter with writer’s block (relatable), who returns to her coastal hometown to reset. But then, she starts hearing a melody in her head along with the voice of a moody, musically-inclined man. No, he’s not a ghost, and yes, she does eventually meet him. Although he’s not at all what she expected. But their strange connection (it’s got layers!) proves to be just the thing Joni needs to write her next hit. And you know, get through some other deep life stuff. Like, this is an Ashley Poston novel after all. (If you’ve read The Dead Romantics, The Seven Year Slip, and/or A Novel Love Story, then you know what I mean.) Keep tissue nearby.

In Their Eyes Were Watching God, Zora Neale Hurston wrote that “there are years that ask questions and years that answer.”

I (shockingly) never gave those words much thought until yesterday, when I turned 32. It was a great, low-key day that started with a birthday matcha(!) and included a few of my favorite things: a trip to AMC, tacos, and tequila shots.

Chapter 31 was...not great. My disappearing acts and struggles with giving myself grace, for starters. There were bright spots, of course, but mostly challenges, frustrating conversations, and a few “is this really my life?” self-talks.

But yesterday reminded me of turning 22. On that birthday, I remember feeling nervous about the future but also buzzing with excitement. The very next day (this exact day ten years ago!) I moved to New York City from Louisiana for my first job at Health Magazine. After dragging two suitcases overstuffed with clothes, books, and dreams through LaGuardia, I got in a taxi and headed to my new Brooklyn apartment to live with a young woman I’d met at an internship the summer before.

Today, I’m lying on a mauve couch in my Los Angeles apartment writing this letter, funny enough, just days away from being a bridesmaid in that same woman’s wedding. And once again, I feel that same mix of nerves and hope. Like, good things are coming (ahem, career developments and creative momentum), even if I’m not entirely sure where the story is going yet.

If the past few years have taught me anything, it’s that (of course) Zora was right. Some seasons pull everything apart so you can see what needs tending, and others let things finally settle into place.

22 was an answer year.
Here’s hoping 32 is too.

Everyone has birthday traditions, and here are a few of mine.

1. Buying a book. Of course, this is the first thing I do every year. This year, I pre-ordered Year of Yes: 10th Anniversary Edition by Shonda Rhimes, which includes seven new chapters. Very excited to (re)read.

2. Dancing! In my bathroom mirror. On my way to collect a birthday freebie from Sephora. While taking my third tequila shot. I don’t even care if there’s no music playing.

3. Making a playlist. Speaking of music, I make a yearly playlist with a mix of introspective and upbeat songs. A mix of genres, newly released, and old favorites. Anything that speaks to the chapter of life I’m entering.

4. Writing a letter to future me. Filled with my hopes and dreams for the next year. Spoiler alert: I hope year 32 finally takes me on that international solo trip I’ve been dreaming of. I prefer to write my letter by hand, but you could type and schedule a letter to yourself via email on a site like this one.

I’m currently about 50 pages into The Wilderness by Angela Flournoy, which was recommended to me by Erin Ashley. It follows “five Black women over the course of their twenty-year friendship, as they move through the dizzying and sometimes precarious period between young adulthood and midlife.”

How to write a sex scene according to Exit Lane author Erika Veurink. Twilight Is 20. These books will remind you why you loved it so much. Why do we get so attached to fictional characters? The Waterbearers author Sasha Bonét on the perceptions thrust upon a Black girl’s body. And ICYMI: Baby-Sitters CIub to be adapted as a stage musical.

Thanks for reading (typos, misplaced commas, and all)! If you'd like to (further) support this newsletter, forward this email to a friend who likes books with a recommendation to subscribe!

Have you ever read a book so good that you immediately wanted to talk to the author after? That’s what happened when I finished We Don’t Talk About Carol, a suspenseful debut about a former true crime journalist who seeks to uncover the truth about the mysterious disappearance of an aunt she never even knew existed.

In this country, missing Black girls and women rarely get the attention or care their stories deserve, but this book tackled the subject with such care that I knew I had to reach out to Kirsten to learn more. One cold email later, and here we are.

Below, she shares details on the first scene she wrote, how she juggles writing alongside a full-time job, and the small but powerful ways readers can support debut authors.

Kristen, tell us a little about yourself! What would we find on the back flap of a dust jacket?

I’m a writer, communications executive, and voracious reader living in L.A. My debut novel, We Don’t Talk About Carol, was released in June, fulfilling my lifelong dream of becoming a published author. On the rare occasions when I’m not reading or writing, I can be found lifting heavy at the gym, hiking in Malibu, eating my way through Los Angeles with my husband, or shouting at the latest Formula 1 race.

Describe your book in three words.

Gripping. Emotional. Hopeful.

What was the 'aha!' moment or little seed that planted this story idea in your mind?

I’d been fascinated by true crime for several years by the time I started this novel back in 2020. And during one of my long, socially distanced walks while listening to a true crime podcast, I learned that there are some disturbing discrepancies when it comes to the cases of missing people of color. For example, Black Americans are going missing at a disproportionately high rate, yet our cases are less likely to be covered in the media and are also less likely to be solved.

I think fiction is a powerful tool for creating awareness and building empathy for the experiences and challenges of others. By humanizing this very real problem through an emotionally fraught and suspenseful story, I hope to shed more light on this issue and maybe open a few hearts along the way.

If your book had a theme song, what would it be?

My novel is threaded with diary entries from Carol, written in the years leading up to her disappearance at age seventeen in 1965. To get into her mindset, I often listened to music she might have loved at the time—and I even added those song titles beneath the dates of her entries.

Carol idolized Mary Wells and dreamed of following in her footsteps at Motown, so I listened to a lot of her music, too. One song in particular, “When I’m Gone,” really struck a chord. It echoes several themes from the novel: the contrast between how a person presents a relationship in public versus in private, the experience of feeling trapped in something toxic, and the moment you finally reach your breaking point. Listening to it on repeat helped me tap deeply into Carol’s emotions.

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Are you more of a plotter or a pantser when it comes to writing?

I was a total pantser when it came to We Don’t Talk About Carol! I really connected with that classic writing analogy of drafting a story like driving through fog, only able to see a few feet in front of my headlights. I kept imagining the story from the reader’s perspective and asking myself, What would be the most compelling, satisfying, or page-turning thing that could happen next?

And it worked—though I truly had no idea how the novel was going to end until I was about three-quarters of the way through the first draft. If you’re shocked by the ending, just know that I was, too!

What was the very first scene you wrote for We Don’t Talk About Carol, and did it end up making it into the final version?

The prologue in the final version of the novel was the first scene I wrote!

If you put my first draft and final draft side by side—like one of those “spot the difference” puzzles—they’d look almost identical at first glance. The core of the story remained the same. But through thoughtful feedback from my writing group, book club friends, agent, and editor, the novel gained important additional depth and detail.

For example, in early drafts, the reader only learned about Carol through what Sydney could uncover—mainly conversations with people who had known her. But my editor suggested weaving in diary entries from Carol herself, so readers could hear her voice directly. That change made a meaningful difference. It brought Carol to life in a new way.

What's your ideal writing setup? Do you have any rituals that help you get in the zone?

My husband and I recently rearranged our apartment so we each have our own dedicated workspaces, and I was able to design my ideal writing room—complete with a standing desk, walking pad, daybed, and plenty of bookshelves. I feel so fortunate to have a space that’s just mine.

I do my best writing first thing in the morning, often before the sun is up. There’s something magical about that liminal space before emails, texts, and responsibilities start flooding in. I make a giant mug of coffee, fill the room with soft golden light from my favorite lamps, turn on my aromatherapy diffuser, pick an instrumental playlist that matches the mood of what I’m writing, and settle in.

Writing while working full-time is no easy feat. What’s one tip that helped you stay consistent or motivated through it all?

My first instinct is to evangelize time-blocking—which I still swear by—but I recently wrote a Substack post about how I’m learning there’s a big difference between managing your time and managing your energy. Just because there’s an open hour on my calendar doesn’t mean I have the capacity to fill it with more output.

Different tasks also require different kinds of energy. For instance, recording a podcast (which makes me nervous!) takes a bigger toll on me than offering notes on a friend’s manuscript. Keeping this in mind has helped me plan my time more realistically, be gentler with myself, and turn down additional commitments I don’t have the bandwidth for.

What’s your favorite way to celebrate finishing a draft?

I need to get better at this! When I finished the final revision of We Don’t Talk About Carol and was ready to start querying agents, I just took a walk around my neighborhood—then came straight back to my computer to send out my first batch of query letters.

More recently, I turned in the first draft of the second novel in my two-book deal, and it just so happened to fall on the same day as an anniversary dinner with my husband. That was a happy accident—and a reminder that I should probably plan my celebrations more intentionally!

As a debut author, how do you deal with the pressure to be everywhere and do everything while still staying focused on what matters to you?

Honestly, the pressure is real—and I definitely feel it. There’s always a voice whispering that I should be doing more, posting more, showing up everywhere. But I’ve learned that trying to chase every opportunity or algorithm only leaves me feeling overwhelmed and scattered.

Time-blocking helps me stay grounded. It lets me see where my time is going—and whether it aligns with what I value. I try to focus my energy where I can make the most meaningful impact. For example, I could spend hours making TikToks without seeing a meaningful lift in book sales. So while I do show up on social media when I can, I don’t prioritize it the way I prioritize writing Book Two and dreaming up Book Three. Because the best thing I can offer—both to readers and to my future self—is to keep writing the best books I can.

How can readers best support debut authors?

Pre-ordering a book makes a huge difference! It signals to publishers, booksellers, and other readers that there’s real interest, and it can be a strong early indicator of a book’s success.

Requesting the book at your local bookstore or library helps, too—as does leaving positive reviews on platforms like Goodreads, StoryGraph, and Amazon. Spreading the word to friends, book clubs, or on social media is also incredibly impactful.

And don’t underestimate the power of a kind comment! Engaging with an author’s social media or sending them an email to share encouragement or excitement can mean more than you realize. Promoting a debut novel is often a vulnerable experience, and a little support goes a long way.

Your shelves—organized by color, genre, or author? Genre, then author :)

A book on your shelf that means the most to you: One of the most meaningful books I own is a memoir of sorts from my mother, created through Storyworth. The service prompts loved ones to answer customized questions over time, which are then compiled into a hardcover book with photos and a beautifully designed cover. It’s become a treasured keepsake—full of memories, reflections, and stories I might never have heard otherwise.

A book you believe everyone should have on their shelf: I recently purchased a beautifully illustrated hardback edition of Octavia E. Butler’s essay A Few Rules for Predicting the Future, and I think it should be required reading for everyone. In just a few pages, Butler offers clear-eyed wisdom on the importance of learning from the past to understand humanity and break destructive cycles, recognizing the consequences of our choices, and embracing the influence we have over what comes next.

I love the essay’s closing line: “Because, most of all, our tomorrow is the child of our today. Through thought and deed, we exert a great deal of influence over this child, even though we can’t control it absolutely. Best to think about it, though. Best to try to shape it into something good. Best to do that for any child.”

A book on your shelf you wish you could read for the first time again: Gone Girl! I’ll never forget the first time I reached the novel’s epic twist.

A book on your shelf that you’d be excited to see adapted into a movie: My friend Sophie Stava’s debut novel, Count My Lies, is being adapted into a series for Hulu starring Lindsay Lohan, and I can’t wait to watch it. The novel was such a twisty, turny, cinematic read—I’m confident that it will translate beautifully on screen.

Quirky or unusual items on your shelf alongside your books: It’s not exactly unusual, but I love displaying books and trinkets that remind me of special trips. There’s a boutique in Venice called Burro, filled with beautifully curated books, paper goods, candles, home items, and all sorts of wonderful things. On each of my last two visits, I’ve come across a prominently displayed Rizzoli guidebook for a city I’d recently fallen in love with. At this rate, I may have to collect them all!

Here’s where to find and support Kristen’s work:

• Check out Kristen’s website: www.kristenlberry.com

• Subscribe to her newsletter: Books Are Life

• Follow Kristen on Instagram @kristenlberry and TikTok @kristenlberry

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Feeling My Shelf is a newsletter about books, life, and, well, life with books. Grab your favorite caffeinated beverage and get comfy. First up, some recent reads.

We Don’t Talk About Carol by Kristen L. Berry
When former crime journalist Sydney stumbles upon a hidden photo of an aunt she never knew she had, she (obviously) has questions. Unfortunately, the two people best suited to answer them (i.e., her grandmother and father) are both deceased, and her mom urges her to let the discovery go. But the “sinister silence” that surrounds her missing aunt intrigues her, and she sets out to uncover what happened. It’s a five-star read that I finished in less than six hours on a cross-country flight. As someone who typically closes her eyes the second the plane is in the clouds, I didn’t even think about sleep. I needed to know what happened, and the twists didn’t disappoint. A must-read debut.

The Best Man: Unfinished Business by Malcom D. Lee with Jayne Allen
I’ve been in love with these characters since I first saw The Best Man, and reading this felt like coming home. The multi-POV story picks up where The Best Man: Final Chapters series (on Peacock!) left off. And let me just say: Harper, Robyn, and Jordan are MESSY. Entertaining, but messy. They’re each trying to navigate big life changes (divorce, quitting a “dream job,” starting over in a different country), with the help of their friends. For the most part, I loved it. My only gripes? I wanted more for Robyn’s story, and some parts felt a bit repetitive/leaned too much into nostalgia. The cliffhanger was interesting, but it also made me roll my eyes a little. I guess this means a sequel is coming…

How to Sell a Romance by Alexa Martin
Alexa Martin has done it again! How to Sell a Romance is a fantastic blend of steam, sarcasm, and surprising emotional depth. Emerson and Luke’s meet-cute is set against the backdrop of, get this, a multi-level-marketing (MLM) convention. I won’t spoil how exactly these two get together, but just know that the entire story had me grinning and turning pages so fast I swear I got paper burn. The MLM plot was entertaining and empathetic. Martin nailed the nuance of how loneliness, not simply ignorance, can draw people into cultish communities. The steam didn’t hurt either.

There’s nothing that annoys me more in books than messy characters.

Well, maybe slow burns, but messy characters are a close second. It’s funny, because until recently, I never stopped to question why this is.

Let’s go back to 2019…

I had just finished Queenie by Candice Carty-Williams and wrote this on my now-defunct blog: “I'll take another annoying protagonist for $200, Alex. Queenie, the ‘heroine’ of our story, wouldn't know how to make the right decision even if it slapped her in the face, which it did multiple times in this story. The dialogue was good. I loved the cultural references. I just wasn't jazzed by such a reckless 20-something-year-old.”

I just wasn’t jazzed by such a reckless 20-something-year-old. What does that even mean, Alexis? Translation: I couldn’t stand her. I stopped and started reading this book multiple times. I almost DNF’d.

If you haven’t read the book or seen the Hulu show, let me clarify: Queenie is messy. Not the cute, quirky kind of messy, either. Stupid messy. Sloppy messy. The kind of messy that ignores every red flag, sets fire to their own life, then blames the smoke on everyone else.

At the time, everyone else was raving about that book. But me? I wished I’d read anything else instead of it.

Although after finishing the adaptation of Queenie earlier this year and seeing her attempts to be better play out visually, I found myself softening.

Queenie was indeed messy, but she was also trying. Contrary to what I seemed to believe in 2019, she knew she needed to do better, but just wasn’t exactly sure how to do it.

I started wondering why I’d been so hard on her in the first place. Why did I react so negatively to a woman who was clearly lost and self-sabotaging? I mean, she did eventually get it sort of together.

A few months ago, I had what felt like the lowest of the low moments. I was sitting on my couch at midnight, crying into a bowl of Special K while rewatching 27 Dresses. Less than 24 hours earlier, I’d had one of the most embarrassing conversations with, ugh, yes, a man. It’s a messy situation. One that I knew was messy when I entered it. The kind of messiness that led to a normally cheery friend sternly saying, “Don’t do it.” Of course, I didn’t listen to her.

This moment, on the heels of being laid off and watching my savings account slowly decline. Like I was already feeling shame, regret, and directionless about my life, and now, yet another gut punch. Even worse: I wanted to text that man again. Hey, since we’re being honest, I still want to right now.

So again, why do those fictional characters and all their bad choices annoy me so much? The writing’s clearly on the wall. They annoy me because sometimes they remind me too much of myself.

The truth is: I try hard to appear put together. Calm. Upbeat. The total opposite of messy. I chase perfection like it’s a requirement for worthiness. But beneath the surface? I am navigating emotional land mines.

Most days, I’m stumbling and making the wrong choice. Replaying conversations in my head where I didn’t say enough things. Said too many things. Doing everything I can just to hold it together without letting anyone see the fraying at the seams.

It feels dumb to admit here, but maybe what I’m reacting to when I get annoyed while reading isn’t those characters’ recklessness. It’s their freedom.

They get to fall apart, to take up space without always being likable or "together,” to repeatedly call that man they know they shouldn’t (again), and still be loved. Still worthy of grace. Still be the main character.

Still a prime candidate for a happy ending.

Reading is supposed to make us more empathetic. But what happens when the person you struggle the most to extend grace to is yourself? What if you don’t believe you deserve that same softness and think that if you mess up, no one will (or should) stick around while you figure things out?

Unfortunately, I don’t know. I’m still trying to unpack those questions, hence the messiness of this entire ramble.

In the meantime, I am working on being kinder to myself. For the mistakes I’ve made, the times I’ve held onto things I should’ve let go of, and the ways I’ve fumbled at work and in friendships. For the bad decisions behind me, and the ones I haven’t even gotten to yet.

Maybe, just maybe, the next time, instead of tossing a book to the side (or writing another shitty review) when a character starts to annoy me with their choices, I’ll take a deep breath. Calm my inner critic and remind myself that redemption isn’t just reserved for fictional women.

That, just like Queenie, I get to be messy sometimes, and still have good things happen to me, too.

(Not that it matters, but I’ll also say that I think Queenie, the show, had a better ending than the book, which is probably why I liked it a little more!)

Audre and Bash Are Just Friends by Tia Williams, featuring Audre, the Type A teen first introduced in Seven Days in June, who hires Bash to be her “fun consultant” in a last-ditch effort to spice up her Stanford application.

Against the celebrity memoir industrial complex. Is the decline of reading poisoning our politics? The tote of the summer. A new book explains how Condé Nast went from dominance to decline. When did “too much” become the worst thing a woman could be? The steamy, subversive rise of the summer novel. This year’s trendiest vacation? A reading retreat.

Thanks for reading (typos, misplaced commas, and all)! If you'd like to (further) support this newsletter, forward this email to a friend who likes books with a recommendation to subscribe!

I became familiar with Jacque Aye years ago when I stumbled upon her lifestyle brand Adorned By Chi. It was 2018, and Black Panther was about to hit theaters. Like every Marvel fan with a love of graphic tees, I was on the hunt for a good one to wear on opening night. Long story short: I ended up with a “T’Challa Makes Me Holla” tee (yes, really) from Jacque’s brand.

Fast forward to a few months ago, when I randomly pulled that same tee out of my drawer and began sleuthing on the internet to find out what happened to said brand. (And to see if the Killmonger shirt I didn’t grab was still available.) From there, I learned that Jacque had since written a few books!

One of them, How to Be a Better Adult, was described as “‘Sorry to Bother You’ meets the surrealism of ‘Atlanta,’ plus some ‘Awkward Black Girl’ mixed in for good measure.” Instantly sold. And after reading it, I knew I needed to interview Jacque for this newsletter. Read on to learn more about her books and writing process.

Jacque, tell us about yourself! What types of stories do you write?
As a woman who suffers from depression and social anxiety, I’ve made it my mission to candidly share my experiences with the hopes of helping others dealing with the same. This extends into my fiction work, where I pen tales about woeful women trying their best, with a surrealist, magical touch. Inspired by authors like Haruki Murakami, Sayaka Murata, and Lemony Snicket, my stories are dark and humorous with a hint…well, a bunch…of absurdity.

Describe your latest book in three words.
How to Escape Death: Absurd, Cosmic, Corporate

What was the 'aha!' moment or little seed that planted this story idea in your mind?
I introduced Mona, the main character of How to Escape Death, in my first novel, How to be a Better Adult. As soon as I came up with her backstory, I just knew there had to be a second book that followed her journey. A weed-addicted Corporate Futurist who becomes so good at her job that she literally becomes psychic? It was so perfectly strange and surreal. She needed her time to shine.

If your latest book had a theme song, what would it be?
I love this question because I actually made a playlist for the book! I think Death Roll by Doechii is the perfect theme song for Mona’s misfortune.

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Your books explore everything from mental health and self-worth to monsters and magic, with humor, surrealism, and heart. What keeps drawing you to blend the fantastical with deeply human themes?
I watched a video once that described the experience of living as a Black person in America as inherently surreal, and they were so right. We genuinely live in a different existence from others. Followed around stores, profiled for no reason, stares and strange posturing from people who don’t even know why they’re uncomfortable around us. Now, add being queer, a child of immigrants, and a neurodivergent woman. My life is a series of bizarre happenings that no one would believe if I told them, so I weave them into my fiction work. It’s how I process the (strange) world around me.

Are you more of a plotter or a pantser when it comes to writing?
I’m more of a pantser! My novels, How to Be a Better Adult and How to Escape Death, were both written by the seat of my pants. I write intuitively, and it makes it more fun for me to see the world come to life as I type. However, with I Live to Serve the Witch, there were so many twists and turns and reveals that I had to plot it out in advance.

What’s the most interesting or unexpectedly delightful thing you’ve ever researched for one of your books?
For I Live to Serve the Witch, I researched herbs for spells and potions! As a woo-woo girly who’s always looking up natural health remedies, it was insightful to find out what kinds of plants help with certain ailments.

Do you have any writing rituals or habits that help you get in the zone?
No, I just become suddenly autistically focused and write and write for days on end from sun up to sun down, ha. I can’t drink coffee anymore, and my ADHD is unmedicated, so it all comes from my natural hyper-focus, and then when I don’t feel like writing, I don’t force it.

What’s your favorite part of the writing process?
Dialogue! I have so much fun with witty dialogue. Especially while writing How to Escape Death. It was a blast stepping into the shoes of a constantly cursing corporate ladder-climber.

How do you celebrate finishing a draft, especially when your stories hold so much emotion and vulnerability?
I usually sleep the whole next day. 😅

What’s a piece of writing advice you wish you had earlier, especially as someone carving out your own lane in the indie space?
Keep doing your thing! Everyone has their own lane, and while it’s tempting to merge into others’, it’s okay to stay in yours and keep building.

You just finished crowdfunding your next book, Tuesday's Blues. What are some other impactful ways readers can support authors like you?
Yes, we successfully raised over $14,000 to bring my monstrous dating tale to life! Readers can support by leaving reviews, buying books directly from the author, supporting crowdfunding efforts, and sending encouraging messages!

• Your shelves—organized by color, genre, or author? Height and color!

• A book on your shelf that means the most to you: The House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer

• A book you believe everyone should have on their shelf: How to Be a Better Adult by Jacque Aye

• A book on your shelf you wish you could read for the first time again: Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett

• A book on your shelf that you’d be excited to see adapted into a movie: I Hate Fairyland by Skottie Young

• Quirky or unusual items on your shelf alongside your books: Fashion dolls!

Here’s where to find and support Jacque’s work:

• Check out Jacque’s website: www.jacqueaye.com

• Subscribe to her newsletter: Diary of a Sad Black Woman

• Follow Jacque on Instagram: @JacqueAye

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Welcome to The Writer’s Shelf, a new series where I chat with my favorite authors about their creative process, the moments that shaped their work, and, of course, the books they recommend reading.

We’re kicking things off with a festive conversation with Georgia Clark, author of the forthcoming Most Wonderful (out on 10/15!)—a book you should pre-order as soon as you finish reading this!

Georgia, tell us about yourself! What would we find on the back flap of a dust jacket?
Hi! I’m Georgia, writer at large! I’m the author of Island Time, It Had To Be You, and a bunch of others. My next novel, Most Wonderful, will be released on October 15, 2024, by The Dial Press/Penguin Random House. I’m the founder and host of the popular storytelling night Generation Women, which performs monthly at New York’s iconic Joe’s Pub. I also teach the Romance Workshop, mentor a Writers Group (that Alexis was in!), host Writers’ Retreats, and create the monthly author newsletter, Heartbeat. I’m an Aussie, and I now live in Brooklyn with my amazing wife and our sweet toddler.

Describe your latest book in three words.
GAY. CHRISTMAS. ROMCOM. 

What was the 'aha!' moment or tiny seed that planted this story idea in your mind?
I heard about Happiest Season and was like, I WANT TO DO THAT. So, jealousy, I guess?! I just wanted to make Christmas supes gay!

What makes the holiday season the perfect backdrop for falling in love?
It’s both cozy and chaotic, merry and full of mayhem. It exists outside the ordinary world, is full of quirky traditions, and is centered around pleasure and connection. Also, there’s a lot of drinking. 

What’s your favorite holiday tradition that made its way into the book?
When I was growing up in Sydney, Australia, Christmas was a hot, low-key affair. It’s high summer in December Down Under, so Christmas lunch was often grilled prawns and a big salad served with a crisp Sauvignon Blanc. My mum, a diehard environmentalist, refused to buy (i.e., kill) a tree, instead draping a ratty piece of tinsel around a potted palm to my teen mortification. After moving to America in 2009, I grew to love a very different sort of Christmas. A holiday filled with the festive decadence of hot cocoa in front of a crackling fire and fir trees tall enough to tickle the ceiling and drifting snow dusting everything white. And then, after I met my wife, a kiss under the mistletoe. It’s those sorts of traditions that are in this story. If I had to pick one specifically, who doesn’t love a balls-to-the-wall holiday bash? 

If your latest book had a theme song, what would it be?
It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, DUH! Shout out also to All I Want For Christmas is You.

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You’re doing a “12 Days of Pubmas” series on your Instagram. What’s the most exciting part of pub weeks for you?
Hearing from readers who connected with the story.

What's your ideal writing setup?
Somewhere dead quiet, with coffee, no distractions, phone off. Maybe it’s snowing outside; maybe there’s a crackling fire?

What’s the coolest or weirdest thing you've ever researched for a book?
I’ve spoken with a volcanologist to design a volcano eruption, traveled to LA to read original shooting scripts for silent movies, and assisted at a wedding to get a behind-the-scenes look at life as a wedding planner.

What’s your favorite way to celebrate finishing a draft?
I really enjoyed doing this Completion Ceremony! Otherwise, my wife and I might go for dinner—we’ve done Lilia for a few books. I get the malfadini and a big glass of wine.

In addition to penning your own novels, you teach romance writing and mentor up-and-coming writers. What’s one piece of advice you give that you wish you had received when starting out?
The greatest reward and pleasure, for me, is in the act of creation, not what anyone else thinks about it.  

How can readers best support writers?
Buy books full-priced from independent bookstores and tell friends/family about books you liked (or gift them!)

• Your shelves—organized by color, genre, or author? Lol: none of the above! They’re a disaster… I’m a mum! No time anymore!

• A book on your shelf that means the most to you: I can’t say my own books, right?! Anything written by someone I know and love/admire means a lot. 

• A book you believe everyone should have on their shelf: Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert (a must for all creatives) 

• A book on your shelf you wish you could read for the first time again: Sweetbitter by Steph Danler, Red White & Royal Blue by CMQ, Seven Days in June by Tia Williams.

• A book on your shelf that you’d be excited to see adapted into a movie: Book Lovers by EmHen and Glamorama by Bret Easton Ellis. It’s a monster, and was an impactful read for me as a teenager. 

• Quirky or unusual items on your shelf alongside your books: Thank you cards, novelty salt and pepper shakers, candlestick holders, ceramic figurines… One day, I’ll get it all organized! One day! 

Where to find and support Georgia’s work:

• Check out Georgia’s website: www.georgiaclark.com 

• Subscribe to their author newsletter:

• Follow Georgia on Instagram: @georgialouclark

And another plug from me to pre-order Most Wonderful! 🎄✨

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